silent re entry

2 get in the mood of the post, click on the title for da musik
and for godsake someone help me how to make it work differently

Soooooooooooo..... what have i been up 2.
I realize i haven't really written anything substantial in while
I always depend on the fact that people like to read between the lines or
interpret silence as a message but I'm weird like that.
Anyhow what have i been up 2.
Not much is the usual answer since i live a pretty simple minimalistic life
but i realize I'm not getting away with that answer so here is my non-homophobic non- pimped white ass fifty cents.

Recently i picked up going to the gym again. I haven't been to the gym in ages.
I have had a love hate love love to hate that i love the gym relationship with the gym for years (since my early teens, you do the math).
I started out at a new gym in Haarlem a few years ago. I began with regular work outs a lot and than I really got into spinning.
I loved it to bits but it didn't do squat for my weight and i ended up wrecking bikes cos i am was enthusiastic (and have overdeveloped muscles in my legs like most overweight people, or should i say weight challenged people). Anyhow, the music we spinned on was and still is horrible, but boy did i get a kick out of sweating like a pig and fantasizing about the guys in cycling shorts.
That is ...until we got to many women in our group and they tend to exercise their mouths as much or even more as the rest of their bodies. And more importantly i don't fancy large chicks in cycling shorts ... i really don't.
So i quit spinning, and i took up cardio which is far better for people my size.
We all know how much fun cardio fitness is ...it's supposed to lengthen my lifespan instead it bored me to death.
So after boring my self to bits for a while the alluring idea of watching men sweat and burning calories at the same time withered and eventually died.

Until a few weeks ago. All those months that i didn't visit the gym I had not ended my membership just as a stok achter de deur (yes my international reader(s) an incentive to google, they pay me you know).
I was bleeding membership fees and it got time for me to get back in to action again.
The fact that we had a mini health check at work that revealed an alarming high blood pressure might also have been an extra incentive. Although when my vulcan doctor checked me out a week later it was well within the normal zone.
Nonetheless with a head the color of a tomato and "heavy boots" I entered the health club at an impossible hour hoping not to run into familiar faces. And low and behold it was as i had never left.
Currently i try to burn of about 500 calories a session and take a sauna afterwards three times a week. It has quickened my step i must admit but i still think cardio is a form of slow torture (they should introduce it at Guantanamo bay). So far i had no awkward conversations about my sabbatical in fact nobody has commented upon my "comeback".
Apart from the compulsory nagging and bitching in the sauna (a dutch habit) my reentry into the silent community of crosstrainer worshipers has been unnoticed.

PS: i did notice that my gear was kinda out of step so have been walking around town to find out what the current trend in gym wear is (hmmmm i luv middle age i get to wonder about the speed at which fashion changes, where is the oven). And what i found out so far that indoor fitness shoes are about the ugliest thing on earth. Who makes those things? and why do we pay to wear crap like that! Really you wouldn't wanna be caught dead in those things (ever seen donatella in them? i rest my case). Yesterday i spotted what looked to me like the only vaguely acceptable shoes to wear and not look like a total geekenstein at the puma shop.
I learned that ranting about how ugly shoes from other brands are to a floor manager gets you great service. Downstairs practically yelled to the top floor i was coming up so i was greeted enthusiastically by a girl half my age (and weight) when i got up their wheezing for air. Puma gets credits for that and if it had been a pretty young guy that had demonstrated in cycling shorts how their shoes kick ass i might have let my gold card out of his cage ....i keep hoping for one of us to design a shoe for little old Cinderella moi.

It is not for geisha 2 want, It is not for geisha 2 feel

Xmas came
& Xmas went

N Y E
a none event

1 heads for the eass
2 for the wess
3 flies to the south
just a few days but none the less

& i remain

Posted right here
2 entertain
Any1 who needs entertaining

the rest is shadows the rest is secret
like in the memoirs of a geisha
waning

gosh a goth?

this just in after yet another tedious talk with an annoying naive

with every thought
and move
and act

The way i ooze
respond
react

that simple sentence that i wrote
it summed it up
that side said gloat!!!

Revel in all that what you know
Take to heart the lessons of this show
Your truth excels that of this child
He may be chosen ..... but they lied

an ''approach" so unlike that of most men
that the very word seems warped and bent

to be a poison in the flesh
to be a shade no more no less
to be convicted in a role
to have the blood like vitriol

And even though I'm bent and broke
I cannot shake this familiar cloak
Seems like a sentence of a kind
I should have had Christmas on my mind.

Tis the season 2 B jolly

yes my dear readers ti's the time 2 b jolly
and i would be jolly
if there was a reason 2
for instance if god would forsake his sick sense of humor.
Today i packed up my bag to head back home, after i had the most uneventful Sinterklaas evening at my parents ever, when i notice a message on my cell.
A message telling me that a co-worker, a twenty year old girl, was killed saturday by her ex boyfriend.
I hadn't heard anything on the news, couldn't find anything about it on teletext and i couldn't access my email from the office..... so i was hoping it was a joke....a sick one .... but a joke.
I had worked with that girl just saturday we joked and laughed.
After that she got in her car and drove to Amsterdam where she was supposed to, reluctantly , meet her ex-boyfriend for the very last time (and that it turned out to be). He told her over the phone he had a present for her and since this is the season to be jolly and for us dutch it is Sinterklaas time it wasn't that peculiar . We said goodbye to her at twelve and reportedly by one o clock he had butchered her with a knife.
He waited two hours, two hours!!!! before he turned himself in at the police station. And that brings me to the title of this posting ....I'm not jolly, far from it ....I'm stunned.....I'm baffled ...not jolly.
So dear dear santa and sinterklaas keep your presents this year and shove em up your arses torch that christmastree and keep that mistletoe away or i'll whip you with it till you bleed and while we are at it tell your boss to fuck off for a while.
But alas he (meaning the sick fuck that's supposed to watch over us) works in mysterious ways, twisted is more like it, cos tomorrow my father is having heart surgery for the eighth time or more, i lose count, and in other jolly news a friend called to say an acquaintance of him died after a week in coma and our very own Venus, Mariska Veres, past away 2 this weekend.



I was doing so well these last few days..... absolut ely better in an absolut way. But now i guess i will have to cash in that rain cheque i got from Elizabeth Taylor and have Christmas dinner at Bettie's with Liza, i hear Lindsey is coming to (cos we need someone make fun of). Second time i have to close of with this remark ....so far for happy endings.

curiousity killed the cat

look at what the cat dragged in

scratching and hissing

clawing it's way thus hitching

a ride

struggling & straining

reluctantly & flailing

i seem to like the marks it makes

i guess that's just what living takes

i seem to make a bold mistake

i bend, i bow you blow i break

the cat's surprised it's instincts peak

the cat's surprised it takes a sneak

that's when the story ends

cos often frustration births offence

one could expect this of a brat

that's how curiosity killed the cat

Glitter Related Incidents

heaps o fun making my myspace page

in spite of rain and wind and other autumn related shit
http://www.myspace.com/basicoverthetop
come check it out

there is no doubt
it's bout it bout
or in my case BOTT

(wear sunshades to watch begleitende youtube link)

The show is over now

Summer never lasts for ever and i just realised that this week.
For those in the know (well both readers) it's been a shitty week.
This morning summed it all up quite well. I looked out into the garden and knew something had changed. It looked different but I couldn't quite put my finger on what had changed ....than it hit me ... no more purple leaves on the tree at the back of the garden. Fortunately i was still to hung over from yesterdays party over at Sylvia's place to insert a drama moment to mark this revelation.
Sulking, overspending and overeating haven't helped me 2 clear my mood up these last few days. So i'm just going to have to try to put my head around it another way.
A good friend of mine got fired recently, brutally i might ad, and she gave me the advice only to take the positive out of a shitty situation. And I'm going to try to do that.
The big problem is that both my parents and me and my sister have the dubious gift of playing the victim role out to a T. Wallowing in self pity excelled to an art and i just have to distance myself from that kind of annoying behaviour. We simply can't have it darling. Especially when it concerns disproportional emotionality (Donald rumpsfeld couldn't have come up with a better word for it, god knows he tried... and failed ...and got fired becos of it ...and rightfully so....and and and i digress)
So I'm taking the advise from all those who had to endure my sobs and I'll pick myself up and try again.
I've had a good weekend, carefully planned and filled to the brim with distractions. Birthday parties and intensive therapeutic sessions on and offline have had a positive effect, self medication will take care of the rest.
Work and the idea that ill be spending my next weekend at my parents (e.d. stress land) will hopefully provide me with plenty of ammo to be over it all in no time what so ever.
The compilation to go with this week should contain these songs:
The Show Is Over Now by Sandra Reemer (as linked above, chiffon dress and blue makeup are indeed a party poop recipe Sandra)
Deeper Shade Of Blue by Steps, can't leave that one out, warning though red tacky alert.
Am Tag Das Der Regen Kam by Dalida
(Catharina Oxenburg eat your heart out that dress is an original Kristal Carrington lame fantasy)
Fantasy Island by Tight Fit cos that's where i want to be right now
Jolene by Dolly Parton (i luv her, Robbert asked me to join him when she is in Holland in a couple of months, indo's have a strange relationship with country and westeren somehow it works don't ask me why)
Bargain Store by Dolly Parton, this is the song i can relate to the most and that's down to the tassels on me boots
Try Again by Aaliyah, she died way to young, unfair ....nuff said
Two little girls from Little Rock by Marilyn Monroe cos Robbert picked me up with a home cooked meal and two bottles of wine.
Sylvia's Mother Said cos Sylvia is at her best channeling her inner native American Indian after a "herbal cigarette" and gallons of wine
Clouds Across The Moon cos Anemoon is my new youtube pall
and last but certainly not least
Major Tom by Peter Schiller cos Margriet and me can talk till we are blue in the face like major tom is after he freezes to death in a space capsule... so far for happy endings till next post.